29. November 2010 23:28
You know when you fall in love. It’s a moment of instantaneous clarity with an immense feeling of giddy well being. I fell in love on Sunday 1st June and the object of my desire.....golf. I had dipped my toe into the game on only a handful of occasions but my feelings had never gone beyond mild lustful yearning. This was all to change as I skulked onto the first tee at the Old Course Vilamoura, I was expecting very little except the odd cut from out of bounds plant life. But what I didn't know at the time was my playing partner was to be cupid. As each hole passed he was pulling his arrow from his Titleist golf bag and driving it straight into the epicentre of my sporting passion. This was golf as it appears on TV this was how it was meant to be, even though it was only our first date I knew I was "putting out" after coffee.
As I strode onto the last I was in a relationship. This wasn't going to leave me and I knew chinos were suddenly going to dominate my wardrobe and that one day I would have to get a divorce as she couldn't stand me and the local entrepreneurs wiling away weekend after weekend in the clubhouse ranting about when men were real men like Ronaldo or "Adam" Shearer.
There I was 30 ft from the much coveted hackers score of 99. I had the comfort of knowing that 2 putts was enough. My arms turned to tagliatelle in the wind and my first putt was 8 ft shy. My heart sank to the floor. My second putt was never a doubt in my mind. Head over it and my 5th ball of the day disappeared into the hole faster than Osama Bin Laden. I punched the air Tim Henman style, not sure my expletive was fitting of such idyllic surroundings but my heart was pumping and I couldn’t wait to get in to tell the rest of the party. Striding like a peacock scorecard in hand my eagerly awaited score was beamed round the clubhouse decking. They had long been bitten by the bug and I could see their joy in my own self exploration, probably reminding them of their very own June the 1st experience. I had been accepted into this Masonic world and I won’t be in a rush to leave.
I would personally like to thank my 4 iron whom without I wouldn't be the player I am today.
Golf I love you......there I said it.